ORLANDO:

First update. Welcome back. I hope your New Years was sobering... or exactly the opposite. Which ever you prefer.

Today, I officially spent nearly $300 on obtaining my new Oregon license. So, it is either I waste that money or this will motivate me to get my rear end out of Florida. Paying the fee for my license application was easy. The bigger moment will be when I get enough guts or stumble upon enough Xanax on the street to confront my manager about leaving my job. And you are asking: why is it such a big deal? Why are you such a big chicken? Well, imagine me as the last Jenga piece and I'm about to fling myself out of that secure snug space on purpose. My job has not exactly had the best year. A handful of people of left making things increasingly difficult on everyone else. In addition, my manager put my name on the building which probably cost a pretty penny.

I try to remind myself that if I do not leave and I stay, then that's it. This is my life. Forever. I live here. I work here. No change. Change is always a scary thing. However, if I want to grow as a person, I have to overcome the fear. I have to put myself above this job. It is my life I'm living, no one elses.